PRO TIP: watching “how it’s made” is SUCH a good way to combat an anxiety attack! There’s soothing music, a soothing narrator who’s intonation never changes (narrators never yell or change their speaking pace), it’s engaging enough to keep you occupied but doesn’t force you to think too hard!
also sometimes the narrator makes bad puns
attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon
There’s an outbreak of malaria.
Everyone takes the necessary precautions to avoid mosquitoes.
You’re outside, when a mosquito lands on your arm.
You raise your hand to it, ready to kill it.
Then it squeaks. Curious, you lower your ear to it.
You can just barely make out “Not all mosquitoes”.
Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point
Okay first of all fuck garlic bread
What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .